Amanda

I know I am only 19.  But I really want to get married.  Ever since I was 4 playing with Barbie and planning her wedding, I have wanted one.  I have been thinking about it ever since then.  Fortunately, or unfortunately, the lack of boyfriend in most of my life until recently here has made me not think about it as much once I stopped playing with Barbie.  But now, here I am again.  Wanting to get married.  It doesn’t help that I know this is where Matt and I are heading, so I am thinking to myself, ‘Why wait?’ I know that there are things, like time and money that are involved, and guys are weird about proposing.  I don’t quite understand it, but whatever.  However, I refuse to propose. REFUSE!  I know it is selfish, but I just want it to happen already.  I hate waiting.  It just makes it worse that Matt and I talk about it, because he knows that is where this is going to.  So it isn’t like I am being some crazy girlfriend!  Both parties agree on this one!  I know this is stupid, it really honestly is.  I know it is going to happen, I just want to know when, I really don’t have much patience when it comes to my own life.  I want things to happen sooner than they will.  Damn.  All well…